Monday, May 2, 2016

The Best of the Worst

Recently, my gaming group got on the topic of, "What is the worst list that you can actually field?"  We talked about the worst units that people actually own as well as the most useless upgrades available.  Eventually we came up with an idea for a 'Best of the Worst' tournament.

We decided that everyone would make the worst list they could, and we would randomize who would play with what list.  At 1000 points, games would be short enough to avoid getting drawn out.  We want to have fun with this, and no one wants to play a three hour game of crap.  Part of our masochistic tendencies also has us wanting to try out multiple terrible armies, so we are likely going to randomize everyone's army between each round.

Here is what we came up with for the rules:
Must be created from a combined arms detachment or a combination of formations, no unbound.
Must be playable, no null deploy to force and auto-lose.
You must have the models to field the army.

There are already threats Ogryns on foot, possessed without transports, and wyches; however, I suspect that renegades are going to take the cake of crappy armies.

One of the main benefits of renegades is that they have a ton of different customizable options.  If I am trying to make a crappy army I can waste points by purchasing options like tank hunter for units that only have las-pistols.

Here is what I came up with:

Renegade Command Squad: Mutant Overlord, Covenant of Khorne, Powerfist, Autocannon
Rogue Psyker Coven: x5

Renegade Mutant Rabble: x10
Renegade Mutant Rabble x10
Renegade Veterans: x10, Tank Hunters, Flamer x2
Renegade Veterans: x10, Tank Hunters, Grenade Launcher x2

Bane Wolf: Militia Training
Valkyrie: Lascannon, Militia Training

Vanquisher Battle Tank: Lascannon

This is a real stinker of a list.  The hardest part about writing this list was making sure that I had models for everything.  It was actually fun to write a list that was as terrible as I could manage.

How about you?  What is the worst list you could field?


  1. Wow this actually sounds really fun and something I wish I could do in my area. I wish you guys were closer to me! So... I have been obsessed with Thousands Sons lately while waiting for 30k TS book. I have been masochistic as is and played them lately with all losses. I think I would go...

    9 Thousand sons
    9 Tzeentch Possessed
    9 Tzeentch Chaos Marines

    996 points of super fluffy footslog fail!

  2. I think this list might be pretty dang hard to lose to... (Using Black Legion rules so my Chosen are troops)
    Sorcerer (dimensional key, MoN, palanquain, powerfist x 2, blight grenades, ichor blood, combat familiar, VotLW)
    CSM x 5 MoT, replace boltgun w/ CCW, champion has: pfist/chainaxe/p-pistol/GoM,Icon of Flame, VotLW)
    Chosen x 5 (MoT, p-fist x 4, Lascannon, champion: p-pistol/chainaxe/powerfist/GoM/Melta bombs, Icon of Flame, VotLW)
    Chosen x 5 (MoT, p-fist x 4, Lascannon, champion: p-pistol/chainaxe/powerfist/GoM/Melta bombs, Icon of Flame, VotLW)

    Have fun with 15 footslogging units with useless shooty upgrades when they're all melee. And a 2 wound HQ that can't even group with any of the guys in the list. Oh... and Chosen that average 60 points a model.

    1. EDIT: Forgot the sorcerer has 4 wounds because of the palanquain. But he's still on his lonesome.

    2. It took me a moment to realize why the sorcerer couldn't join the squads. I'm not used to having more than one mark in an army.

    3. Haha yep. Marks can't intermingle! Granted... at the moment I couldn't actually field this list. I've got a lot of Chosen (bought way too many packs back when you could get them for like $6 on eBay for everything from the DV box) but I don't think I have 8 powerfists. Might have to convert a few to actually be able to field that list. Still - I think it has enough point sinks in (relatively) squishy models it would be easy enough to table it.

  3. The model requirement makes it challenging. Most people don't tend to own models that are really abysmal to begin with.

    For instance, if anyone owned the models, Astra Militarum have some truly useless options like the Atlas Recovery Tank or the Arvus Lighter. If you have no tanks to repair, the Atlas is essentially a Heavy Bolter Leman Russ.

    The Arvus can take hellstrike missiles, but can only ever fire snap shots. Since ordnance can't be snap shot, the weapons can never be fired. Worst 20 pt upgrade in the game. Don't forget infra-red targeting and Illum flares, which are used to give night vision. Since night vision is only ever on turn 1 and the flyer can only come on turn two, they are also useless. Throw on the fighter ace upgrade at 35pts each. Plus they can be taken in squadrons.

    115 Lord Commissar w/Blade of Conquest & the Iron Left
    60 10 veterans
    65 10 veterans
    105 Atlas recovery tank w/extra armor & mine plough
    105 Atlas recovery tank w/extra armor & mine plough
    105 Atlas recovery tank w/extra armor & mine plough
    450 3x Arvus Lighter w/hellstrike missiles, fighter ace, flare/chaff launcher, illum flares, infrared targeting

    1. Renegades can take the Arvus as well, and it is complete garbage.

    2. Yes, Renegades can take them. At least they have the decency to be 20 pts cheaper base and the hellstrike missiles are only 5 pts instead of 20. On top of that, there is a misprint in the index for IA13 that omits "one-use only" from the hellstrike missile entry. Thanks to FW never issuing FAQs, I suppose they can be used every round... if they could be fired at all. That does make Valkyries better though.

      The Renegade purchase the Arvus in a squad of 3, but they operate independently, so at least you could theoretically control 3 objectives. The AM Arvus is a single unit that can't split up.

    3. By the way... Arvus Lighters can actually shoot Hellstrike missiles. Hellstrike are ordnance but they aren't blasts. Vehicle section states they can shoot ordnance as snap shots unless the type of ordnance weapon makes this impossible (Aka templates/blasts).

      The FAQ from today further clarified this.

  4. The worst I could field using models I have is with Orks by piling on the upgrades.

    149 Big mek w/kombi-rokkit, fixer upper, 3 ammo runts, attack squig, bosspole, 3 grot oilers, supa-cybork
    560 10 Nobs each w/kombi-rokkit, PK, ammo runt, bosspole
    40 10 Gretchin, runtherd w/grot prod
    40 10 Gretchin, runtherd w/grot prod
    210 Burna-bommer w/fighta ace & 6 skorcha missiles

    Sure, the Nobs will kill almost anything they come into contact with, but at the end of the day, you've got 20 T4 wounds footslogging with a 6+ save, another 20 T2 wounds with no save, and a 3hp AV10 flier. The HQ is loaded up to repair, but has nothing to repair.

  5. Are you going to randomize it so you have to play with everyone's list except your own? That might be a fun idea. Whoever's list loses the most games is the "winner" at making the worst list. But since you're playing every game with someone else's army you have an incentive to try to win with it so it doesn't do as poorly as yours does.

    1. That is a good call. We could have awards for both, "Best General" and "Worst Planner"

  6. Sounds like a great game! I'd probably go with all grots, looted wagons, lead by a weird boy probably :)

    1. Our ongoing joke is that any time someone brings up a terrible list someone says, "Or you could just bring Orks."

      There are 3-4 Ork armies in our group, but no one plays them anymore.

    2. Ban eldar and tau then play 1 Cad only (SM tactics included) and suddenly the game gets playable again

  7. We actually did an event like this years ago at my game store. IIRC it was "be withing 10 points either way of 1500." We traded lists with a random opponent and played a game. Losers were voted on for best list. I don't have my list anymore, but it was quite funny to behold.

    HQ command squad with heavy weapon team.

    3-4 minimum sized imperial guard platoons (cmd + 2 10 man squads). All 10 man squads were rifles only, command squads had heavy weapons.

    5 Priests, WYSIWYG'd up to be fairly expensive.

    allied witchhunters (my main army at the time), a very costly, very worthless Cannoness, 5 strong battle sisters, and 10 strong heavy bolter retributors. With 2 more priestes (forced 1 per squad).

    In the guard book of that era, first priest had to attach to the HQ command squad, then one to each platoon command squad. If you ran out of command squads, you could attach them anywhere. If a priest was attached, squad always counted as moving (could not fire heavy weapons), and must charge if able.

    The result: ~90 base guardsmen no useable heavy weapons. ~15 sisters with bolters, again no useable heavy weapons.

    It was, however, the most pious group to hit the tabletop. The Emperor did not protect them (It was voted worst army there).